Valentine’s Day Jokes For Kids

Got a little comedian in your household? These Valentine’s Day jokes for kids are sure to crack a smile sweeter than any chocolate around. Let the kids memorize a few to share with friends, or write them on a note for V-Day lunches. Either way, you’re sure to get a laugh, a hug and probably at least one eye roll. Scroll down to get punning.


1. What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?

A valen-teeny.

2. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?

I’m stuck on you!

3. What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you!

4. What did the cucumber say to the pickle?

You mean a great dill to me.

5. How did the phone propose to his GF?

He gave her a ring.

6. What did the one sheep say to the other?

I love ewe!

7. And how did the other sheep respond?

You’re not so baaaaaa-d yourself

8. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

Hogs and kisses.

9. And what did the tweenager give his mom? 

Ughs and kisses!

10. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?

I wuv you watts and watts!

11. What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!



12. What do you call a ghost’s true love?

His ghoul-friend.

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