christmas jokes
Christmas

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes

 Have you been looking forward to tickling the funny bones of your loved ones this holiday season? Here are some of the funniest Merry Christmas jokes 2021, Merry Christmas Puns, Hilarious Santa Claus Jokes, and Christmas knock knock jokes that will have you in splits.

Funny Christmas Jokes 2021 | Merry Christmas Puns

Festivals help us realize that life is more than earning money, owning stuff, and hopping on to exotic locations to post swoon-worthy pictures. I want to have a good time with the ones I love, find happiness in the little things, and create everlasting memories that I can see again and again as I get older.

Funny Christmas Jokes 2021 | Merry Christmas Puns

Why is Santa so frustrated?
Because he only comes once a year and when he does it’s down a chimney!

What is the best Christmas present?
A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

What is a French Santa’s favourite Christmas drink?
Eau, eau, eau!

Why didn’t the pirates go pirating at Christmas?
They were in lockdown because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!

How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles, Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Opened one of my Christmas presents and all that was in it was a single grain of rice?! …
I think it was from my Uncle Ben

What does Santa use to measure?
Santameters!

Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card???
Because he went down in history.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A MINCE SPY

What does Christmas and weirdo’s have in comman?
Fruitcake.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.

Where does Father Christmas go now for a well deserved rest?
Santa parcs

just seen a squirrel in central park……
would that be a furry tail in new york ?

How does Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker has got for Christmas?
He felt his presents.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsillitis!!!!

Heard in church last night- What do you call the helpers that work for Santa?
.
.
.
.
.
Subordinate clauses.

What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chill out.

What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.

Santa is the main Clause.
His wife is a relative Clause.
His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.

Who makes toy guitars and sings ‘Blue Christmas’?
Elfis.

What’s the similarities between the House of Parliament, and the stable Jesus was born in?
Both were well supplied with Asses.

What do you get it you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
An ELF-cicle

Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elfis Presley

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.

What kind of sandals do frogs wear?
.
.
.
open TOAD!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger.

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The ELF-abet

What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
Tinsel-itis!

What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
When he gets a sweater but was hoping for a screamer or a moaner…

How did the man drown in his Christmas pudding?
He was pulled under by a strong currant.

How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
.
.
.
.
He keeps a logbook

What did Jack Frost like best about school?
Snow and Tell

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
Cos… They had a weigh in a manger

What do reindeer hang on there antlers?
.
.
.
Horn-aments!

“I hope we all had a good Christmastime. I bought my wife a false leg for Christmas. It wasn’t her main present; it was a stocking filler!”

Which sea creatures come calling at Christmas?
Coral singers!

Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Why has production been down at Santa’s workshop this year?
Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!

Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Smells like carrots around here!

What do the North Pole & South Pole have in common?
Nothing, they’re polar opposites!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas?
A stocking!

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NOeL.

What is Santa’s Elves’ favourite music, to dance to, at their office Christmas party?
Wrap music!

What does Beyonce sing at Christmas?
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies…

Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?
Because he’s cool!

Why did Father Christmas get a second job as a gardener?
So that he could ‘ho ho ho’!

Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join in on the conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the inn

What was Nehru’s favorite holiday song?
Have a Jawarhalally Jolly Christmas.

What language is Father Christmas most fluent in?
North Polish!

Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time?
Home Alone.

Which dinosaur loves Christmas the most?
Tree Rex!

Who hides in the Christmas bakery section?
A mince spy!

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it ‘soots’ him!

What do gingerbread men sleep on?
Cookie sheets!

Who delivers the cat & dog’s Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!

What make of car do elves drive?
Toy-otas!

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

As a way to make Christmas 2021 a fun affair, we have prepared funny Christmas jokes that will give everyone heaps of laughter and make them grab their stomach out of pain due to laughing too hard. Enjoy the funniest and freshest collection of merry Christmas jokes 2021 that will make you and your friends laugh until your sides hurt. Download these funny Christmas jokes 2021 and share them with your loved ones who will be away from you this Christmas due to personal reasons. Here are some funny Christmas jokes that will make you laugh out loud.

Best Santa Jokes 2021 | Funny Santa Claus Jokes With Images

One of the rare festivals that you can talk about day in and day out without running out of topics is Christmas. Santa Claus is one of the most talked about topics during Christmas. He is a mythical figure who gives gifts to kids at night. Children love the Santa Clause, but adults make outrageous fun of him by making Santa Claus jokes.

Best Santa Jokes 2021 | Funny Santa Claus Jokes with Images

How does Santa (that’s me) take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid.

What’s the biggest overhead in Santa’s accounts
Private elf insurance!

What do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a claus.

What do elves answer when Santa takes roll call?
PRESENT!

Why is Santa Claus afraid of chimneys??
Because he’s Claus-trophobic

Why did Santa have to see a podiatrist?
Because he stubbed his mistleTOE

Santa: What is Santa’s favorite pizza
One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.

White Santa: Ho Ho Ho! Santa is here.
Black Santa: Ho! Santa be here.
Brown Santa: Go do your homework.

What did the Christmas cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!

Mom: we will leave out cookies and vodka on Christmas Eve!
Santa: You are too kind, I do have to be able to drive home though

Why has Santa got such a huge sack??
…because he only comes once a year… Duh….

Why is Mrs Santa always upset at Xmas?
Because Mr Santa empties his sack everywhere else except at home.

What did Santa tell to his wife?
It’s gonna rein deer.

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

After hours of painstaking efforts, we have compiled the best funny Santa Claus Jokes 2021 that are bound to make you laugh hard. These Santa jokes are the epitome of hilariousness and competent enough to giggle the heck out of everyone. You can read all the Santa Claus 2021 Jokes at bedtime or when you are with friends and family members.

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes For Kids With Images | Hilarious Christmas 2021 Jokes For Kids

Why is it that children cannot enjoy the fun of Christmas jokes but only adults can? Children also deserve a good laugh when reading funny Christmas jokes. Children may or may not understand adult Christmas jokes, that’s why we have compiled the funniest merry Christmas jokes just for them that will entertain your little ones on the eve of Christmas festival like nothing else.

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes for Kids with Images

How do you make opening your Christmas presents last longer?
Open them with boxing gloves on.

Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools?
Because there is not mushroom.

How do elves get up into the workshop attic?
The Elflevator.

What does Santa Claus’ cat want for Christmas?
Some new claus!

What does Father Christmas always go down the chimney?
Because it shoots him!

What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?
A snowman on a zebra crossing!

The hours, the weather and the trend toward smaller chimneys.
Nike won’t give him a lucrative side-contract.

Santa: “So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?”
Girl: “I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe.”

What did the snowman and his wife hang over their baby’s crib?
A Snow Mobile,

Why should you be careful at Christmas?
Thera are mince spies about.

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers.

How does Jack Frost travel to work?
By Icicle.

What is a mum’s favourite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.

Why is it always cold at Christmas?
Because it is Decemberrrrrrr!

Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?

What rains at the north pole?
Reindeer!

The funny Christmas jokes for kids 2021 take a subtle dig at Santa Claus, elves, and Christmas decoration, the way adults celebrate Christmas, and the list goes on and on. Don’t forget to share these Christmas jokes for kids on social media so that everyone can laugh.

Christmas Cracker Jokes

To all the guys out there, Merry Christmas to you and your families. How are you preparing for this year’s Christmas? Do you have a plan for 2021 yet, with your silly and tide-bearing Christmas cracker jokes? If not, what will you write? Then don’t worry. Our team has compiled for you a number of silliest and most luxurious Christmas cracker jokes 2021, that you will love to crack your family during Christmas dinner.

Christmas Cracker jokes 2021

How many kicks does it take to break a bed?
1000

One night, a viking named Rudolph the Red looked out the window. He turned to his wife and said, “It’s going to rain.”
“How do you know that?” she asked. “
Because,” he replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

What’s the best cheese to hide a horse in?
Mascarpone.

What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf?
You are so last season.

Why are Christmas trees very bad at knitting?
Because they always drop their needles!

What’s that lurking in the Christmas Tree…?
A Mince-Spy!!

Why can’t you make clothes out of cheese?
Because Fromage Frais.

Why did the tree grow teeth?
Because it was a gum tree!

Which singer has the cleanest hands?
Napkin Cole

What does Santa call his three-legged Reindeer?
Eileen!!

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg

Did you hear about the guy who went for a cheap circumcision?
It was a rip off.

What does the jalapeño say in the winter?
I’m a little chilli

What did the monkey say when it got into a hot bath?
Ooh ooh ooh…aah aah aah….

Why was the snowman rummaging through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose!

What kind of lighting did Noah use on the ark?
Floodlights

What did Cinderella say to the chemist when her photos failed to arrive?
Some day my prints will come.

What do you call a group of sheep rolling down a hill?
A lambslide.

Why is a man going to put his father into a sack like a man travelling to a certain great Eastern city?
They are both going to Baghdad. (boom boom! oh, my aching sides.)

How did Mary and Joseph know baby Jesus was 6 pounds 12 ounces?
Because they had a-WEIGH in a manger…

What do you call a group of Chess Champions arguing over who is the best in a hotel lobby?
‘Chess Nuts Boasting in an Open Foyer’

Why did the object leave the museum?
Because it wanted to be a loan.

Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager?
She couldn’t run a stable government

What’s a snowman’s favourite song?
‘Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow’

What do you give a person who has everything ?
Antibiotics

It’s an old tradition for people to have fun with Christmas cracker jokes with their family and friends. It’s impossible to say where the cracker joke tradition originated, but it’s so awesomely funny, you can laugh whenever you’re bored or crazy. If you have money or not, love or not, a car or not, but you must always have fun, whether alone or with whomever you like. You can have all the best Christmas cracker jokes in 2021 and celebrate the festival as you wish.

Merry Christmas Elf Jokes

As there are a number of traditions and dishes for Christmas Eve; there are so a great number of Christmas elf jokes 2021, that you can crack with your favorite elf or with your friends. And yeah before cracking a joke with an elf, know whether it gonna curse you or bless you.

Merry Christmas Elf Jokes

How do you describe an elf who refuses to take a bath?
Elfully smelly.

What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!

What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!

What do you call an elf who teaches english?
A subordinate Claus.

What kind of money do elves use?
Jingle bills!

Why did Santa tell off one of his elves?
Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner!

Why do elves scratch themselves?
Because they’re the only ones who know where its itchy!

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!

Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks!

Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them!

What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in the chimney?
Claustrophobia!

“What kind of money do elves use?” She bit her lip.
“Jingle bills!”

“What is big, green and packs a trunk?” She giggled.
“An Elfephant!”

What type of photos does Santa take?
Elfies.

Christmas in July party tonight! I will scream “SANTA” at the top of my lungs and call every little person I see a South Pole Elf

Why was santas helper depressed?
He has low ELFesteem.

San Francisco is trending. you know why?
because that fun to say

What do you call a hot mom elf?
A Melf

Where do the elves go to the toilet in the north pole?
The igloo.

What do Santa’s helpers like to post on twitter
Elfies!

Did you know that Christmas trees come from Hawaii?
Sure, haven’t you ever heard the song, “O Tanning Balm”?

What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!

Why do elves work for Santa?
Because he is a jolly good fellow!

Some mythical people blow up rapidly. So you should be mindful with regards to it. Last year when Christmas was, I with my a few companions made some cardboard mythical people and reindeer with Santa Claus. It was a school project that we did. The intriguing thing was; there were Christmas mythical person jokes were composed behind each piece of cardboard made mythical being. We shaded them all and put them in different Christmas saltine boxes. Furthermore everything, you do ask Santa, that what does he converse with mythical beings, concerning what things? At the point when you know, you tell us since we are interested to know. Here are on the whole the best Christmas mythical being jokes for all of you. Simply attempt to satisfy a mythical person with your actual heart and it would make for what seems like forever wonderful.

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes 2021

Every year Christmas falls on 25 December and this year too! So how do you like our this Christmas knock-knock joke. Although we don’t say knock but it is a Christmas knock-knock joke 2021, that you would love to add to your knock-knock jokes list.

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes 2021

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Avery. Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas!

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger… !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull… !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Rudolph
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Igloo
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie… !

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Our Wayne!
Our Wayne who?
Our Wayne in a manger!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Snow. Snow who?
Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name!

There is nothing more hilariously funny on this earth than these types of jokes. Be sober and play with whomever you like. Don’t play with serious people who don’t understand the jokes. Rudolph, his favorite reindeer, and Santa Claus often play together. His favorite pastime is gossiping. These are the best Christmas knock-knock jokes. During the Christmas party or after Christmas dinner, you can play all these jokes. Couples or girlfriends and boyfriends playing together is fun. Whoever invented Christmas knock-knock jokes might have been knocking on someone else’s door while they weren’t answering, knowing who was at the door, yet they asked who was there. Maybe. We could guess. The jokes are below. Merry Christmas! May God almighty bless you.

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