If you are not really feeling the love this month, then these anti-Valentine’s Day quotes are going to be right up your alley come Feb. 14. You know, the day that celebrates people for being coupled with other people, the day where heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and stuffed teddy bears seem to fly off the shelves, and the day when you can’t eat dinner anywhere in any city without having already made a reservation two weeks in advance. Oh V-Day, you are so ridiculous.
From Mae West to Mindy Kaling, I’ve rounded up some snarky (yet true) words of wisdom below that are perfect for celebrating anti-Valentine’s Day. Being in a relationship isn’t everything — and even strong, healthy couples often cringe at the over-the-top and unrealistic expectations put in place by Valentine’s Day. Regardless of your relationship status, take solace in the fact that you are not the only person who gets annoyed by Cupid’s celebration of all things heart-shaped. Embrace whatever situation you are in right now, and check out the funny jabs people have uttered in opposition to Valentine’s Day. Then, go buy yourself a box of chocolate, pour a glass of wine, and relax. Valentine’s Day will be over before you know it.
1. “I’m single because I was born that way.” — Mae West
2. “Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed.” — Laurell K. Hamilton
3. “The last thing you want to get addicted to is someone.” — Aruho Marvin
4. “I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.” — Mindy Kaling
5. “Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable.” — Cher
6. “Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.” — Michael Douglas
7. “Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” — W. Somerset Maugham
8. “The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.” — Jo Coudert
9. “I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.” — Warsan Shire
10. “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” — Sex and the City
11. “We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies.” — Jose Ortega y Gasset
12. “Love stinks.” — J. Geils Band