Halloween Jokes Halloween may be the spookiest time of the year, but it’s also a holiday for candy-filled fun and laughter — especially with the best Halloween jokes to get the monsters and ghouls giggling all night!
Halloween Monster Jokes
- What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
- Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
- Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
- What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? “You sure are boo-tiful!”
- Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
- Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
- What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
- What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
Halloween Food Jokes
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
- What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? “Bone Appetit!”
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
- What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
- What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
- Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!