Fathers Day Jokes

Your dad’s got all the jokes — whether you like it or not. And even if you’ve heard it a million times before, it’s hard not to laugh (or, well, roll your eyes) when he breaks out a silly one-liner from his endless supply of dad jokes.

But just because he’s the king of corny puns and knock-knock jokes doesn’t mean you can’t try to give him a taste of his own medicine with these funny Father’s Day jokes. Not only will they prove that you’re following in his footsteps, but these predictable-yet-punny jokes are a great way to pay him back for all of the secondhand embarrassment you’ve endured throughout the years.

Sure, he’ll be happy if you give him a thoughtful Father’s Day gift or homemade card with a sweet message inside. But if humor is the way to your dad’s heart, then show up to his Father’s Day celebration with a list of cheesy jokes to tell. Plus, if you’re looking for a fun Father’s Day activity, you can make a game out of it and compete to see who can score the most laughs.

Who knows, you might even be surprised to find out that your dad doesn’t already know what a pirate’s favorite letter is. Spoiler alert: It’s not “R.”

Best Father’s Day jokes to tell your dad

  • What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A pop-sicle.
  • Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
  • What did the baby otter say to its dad? You are a dad like no otter.
  • What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office.
  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is apparent!
  • Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Never-lands.
  • What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.
  • Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
  • Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
  • How do pigs wake up their dad on Father’s Day? With plenty of hogs and kisses.
  • Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
  • Why should you never use a dull pencil? Because it’s pointless.
  • Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

 

Father and son laughing
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  • Did you hear about the cheese factory that got blown up? Da brie was everywhere.
  • How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
  • How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poker face!
  • I just invented a car that runs on herbs… I think I invented thyme travel.
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? Impasta!
  • What do you call someone who isn’t a dad but tells dad jokes? A faux pa.
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding … in his field!
  • I saw a lady at the bank checking her balance so I pushed her over.
  • Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home? His sails went through the roof.
  • What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  • Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
  • Swimming with sharks is so expensive. It cost me an arm and a leg!
  • What did the buffalo say to his son as he walked out the door? Bi-son.
son helping dad on skateboard
Getty Images
  • How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They’re on the house!
  • What do frogs wear on their feet in summer? Open toad sandals!
  • Policeman knocks on the door and says, “Sir, it looks like your wife has been involved in an accident.” The man replies, “I know but she has a lovely personality.”
  • The only reason I went to Wimbledon was because I heard it was a women’s singles event.
  • My wife laughed at me when I told her I could make a car out of macaroni. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!
  • Do you want me to tell you the joke about the butter? No, you might spread it!
  • How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
  • I had a long conversation with a dolphin once. We just seemed to click.
  • It was a lovely wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
  • The police just arrested the world’s tongue twister champion. They say he’ll be given a tough sentence.
  • Just adopted a dog from the local blacksmith but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

 

Father and son sitting together on the couch playing computer game
Westend61 / Getty Images/Westend61
  • I’ve got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites.
  • What does a baby computer call its dad? Data.
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  • Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
  • What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
  • Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school.
  • What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.
  • Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their butt-quacks.
  • Why did Mickey Mouse go into space? He wanted to find Pluto.
  • What makes music in your hair? A headband.
  • How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? It’s full.
  • I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember which side the sun rises on. Then it dawned on me.
  • What did the horse say after it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
  • What did the book join the police? It wanted to go undercover.
  • What’s the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.
  • How does Darth Vader like his toast cooked? On the dark side.

More Best Father’s Day Jokes and Puns for 2022

Father’s Day Puns for the Cornballs

  1. “I shore do love you dad. It’s Father’s Day… so let’s shellabrate!”
  2. “You’re a fan-stache-tic dad!”
  3. “I wanted to give you a comb for Father’s Day, but we could never part.”
  4. “Like a whiteboard, you’re remarkable.”
  5. “I hope you don’t sca-dad-dle anytime soon!”
  6. “Dad puns — that’s how eye roll.”
  7. “Thanks for always driving me, Dad… driving me crazy.”
  8. Q: “Why do dads who golf always take an extra pair of socks?” / A: “In case they get a hole in one!”
  9. “I started a sailboat building business in my attic. Sails are going through the roof.“
  10. Q: What happens when a painter gets cold? / A: They put on another coat.
  11. Q: Why does Waldo from Where’s Waldo wear stripes? / A: He doesn’t want to be spotted!
  12. “A lion would never play gold. But a Tiger would.“
  13. “Dad jokes are waffle, but I still like yours.”

Father’s Day Puns for the Foodies

  1. “If the world had S’more dads like you, it would be sweet.”
  2. “I donut know what I’d do without you.”
  3. “I love you from my head tomatoes.”
  4. “Let’s taco ’bout how much you rock.”
  5. “You’re nacho average Dad!”
  6. “Dad, you’re a really fungi.”
  7. “I love you, just in queso you didn’t know.”
  8. “It sounds cheesy, but you’re the grate-est.”
  9. “Our family would be muffin without you.”
  10. “As a grill master and dad, you’re a rare find.”
  11. “This might sound cheesy but you’ve got a pizza my heart!”
  12. “You can be a real pizza work, and sometimes you bacon us crazy, but we love you anyway.”
  13. “Thanks for pudding up with me, Dad, and for being my biggest flan!”
  14. “Love you dad, Pho real.”
  15. Q: What did the sandwich say in his Father’s Day card? / A: I know you think I’m full of baloney, but you’re the best dad ever.
  16. A: Q: “What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?” / A: “Where’s Popcorn?”
  17. Q: What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? / A: A popsicle!
  18. Q: How does dad take his coffee? / A: Very, very seriously

Father’s Day Puns for the Connoisseurs

  1. “I can’t espresso how much you mean to me.”
  2. “I could never wine about you, Dad.”
  3. “Have a beer-y happy Father’s Day.”
  4. “Hey, Dad — it’s cool that you’re Old Fashioned.“
  5. Q: What do you call a fruit that’s really emotional? / A: A passionfruit

Father’s Day Puns for the Animal Lovers

  1. “I’m not lion — you’re the best.”
  2. “You’re oh-fish-ally the greatest dad ever.”
  3. “I’m a lucky duck that you’re my dad.”
  4. “You meet all of the koala-fications.”
  5. Q: What did the buffalo say when his son left? / A: Bison!
  6. Q: What did the spider say to his dad? / A: You spend too much time on the web!
  7. Q: How is the baby bird like his dad? / A: He’s a chirp off the old block!

Father’s Day Jokes for Dads That Can, Well, Take a Joke

  1. “There’s a big difference between bad jokes and dad jokes. And that difference is the first letter.“
  2. “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’ ”
  3. “My son wants 50 percent of my Father’s Day gifts. He says if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be a father.“
  4. “You can tell it’s almost Father’s Day. The kids suddenly want to stop at all the garage sales.“
  5. “Happy Father’s Day to a dad that was smart enough to teach his kid to mow the lawn so he wouldn’t have to.”
  6. “When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is a parent.”
  7. “Happy Father’s Day Dad. May your day be better than your jokes.”
  8. “Happy Father’s Day. Without me, it would be just another day for you. You’re welcome.”
  9. Q: When does a joke become a dad joke? / A: When it becomes apparent!
  10. Q: Why didn’t the kid give his dad a gift on father’s day? / A: He figured his dad already had him!

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