Nothing says love more than a good laugh, and you’ll get one when you hand your valentine one of these free and funny Valentine’s Day cards.
These Valentine’s Day cards range from innocently cheesy to downright rude, and your valentine won’t be able to quit laughing. From bad puns to realistic relationship woes, there’s something for everyone.
Although these are all technically Valentine’s Day cards, almost all of them can be used all year round to help you share some love with your special someone.
Quirky Love Cards
There are 8 free funny valentines here from My Someday in May, all with whimsical illustrations and quirky little sayings that make them not your average Valentine’s Day card.
Here are the sayings on the cards:
Let’s Stay Home and Watch Netflix
Like Peas and Carrots
It’s Peanut Butter + Jelly Time
Talk Nerdy to Me
You Complete Me
My Heart Loves Your Heart
Open them up in the free Adobe Reader and you’ll be able to print one or all of them as a half-page card. Just cut along the lines and fold.
Quirky Love Cards from My Someday in May
Printable Funny Valentine’s Day Cards
Landeelu has created some funny Valentine’s Day cards that are truly for the realist among us. A cut handwriting font makes the sayings even more clever and it’s paired with tiny red hearts to take a bit of the edge off.
Here’s what they say:
You’re my favorite person to lay next to while I read my book.
I’m so glad you settled for me.
You are pretty much my favorite husband.
There’s no one else I’d rather lay in bed and look at my phone with.
You’re my favorite person to get a Redbox With (and then fall asleep five minutes into it.)
You’re the one I want to be next to while you’re on your computer and I’m on mine.
Half of the cards run vertically and the others run horizontally. They print two per page so it’s easy to print multiple cards out.
Printable Funny Valentine’s Day Cards from Landeelu
DIY Funny Valentine’s Day Cards
Sugar & Cloth has designed some funny Valentine’s Day cards in a variety of colors, all with clever sayings on them that will be sure to get your valentine laughing.
Here’s what they say:
I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
The only thing I like more than you is Netflix.
Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you’re dope.
I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
Each card is an individual download and is printed as a full-page, fold-over card.
DIY Funny Valentine’s Day Cards from Sugar & Cloth
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you know what it means to be in love day after day and you’ve come to embrace the monotony of it. These simple cards from Catholic Sprouts are completely relatable.
I love you so much that I’ve learned to tolerate your snoring.
I’m so grateful you still find me sexy even when I’m pregnant and gassy and have feet swollen to the size of dinner plates.
Since our wedding day, our love has grown and so has our mortgage.
I’m so glad you are the father of my children because I need a break. I’ll be in the tub.
There is no one else I’d rather lay in bed with while we both look at our phones.
You are the reason I get up in the morning. Just kidding. It’s the baby.
What I feel for you is so much more than financial and familial obligation.
You make me so happy when you do the dishes.
I love you so much that I’m willing to let you think you were right.
I never knew I could love someone this much which is good because you drive me positively insane.
These cards are printed two per page and you can cut them out as fold-over cards or flat cards.
Realist Valentines from Catholic Sprouts
Free Hand Lettered Anti-Valentine Printables
Here are some free, printable funny Valentine’s cards from Printable Crush designed in pink, black, and white. Here’s what they say:
It’s Not Me, It’s You
I Like My Chocolate Dark Just Like My Heart
Zombie Ate My Heart
There are also some matching free, printable tags that you can attach to your gift.
Free Hand Lettered Anti-Valentine Printables from Printable Crush
Free, Printable Funny Valentine Cards
There are 4 more designs from Printable Crush of funny Valentine cards here, each of them with colorful strips and images. They print two cards per page, making it easy to send out a few of them at a time. Here’s what they say:
I Love You More Than Pizza (Sorry, Pizza)
I Love You More Than Chocolate (Sorry, Chocolate)
I Love You More Than Ice Cream (Sorry, Ice Cream)
I Love You More Than Cookies (Sorry, Cookies)
Free, Printable Funny Valentine Cards from Printable Crush
Uniquely Funny Valentine’s Day Cards
The Dating Divas have designed 14 free funny Valentine’s Day cards that are meant to be sent to a significant other but several could work for other relationships. Here are a few of them:
I think I’ve taken a Viking to you.
You’ve stolen a pizza my heart.
You have most of my heart.
You blow me away.
You’re just like bacon you make everything better.
Be my tweet heart.
You’ll download all the cards as one free PDF file and then print out the cards you like the best.
Uniquely Funny Valentine’s Day Cards from The Dating Divas
Printable Funny Valentine Cards
This collection of funny Valentine’s Day cards from All Things With Purpose vary in design and topic. There are a lot of choices so you’re sure to find one you love. Here’s what they say:
You’re the Obi-Wan For Me
You Beautiful Tropical Fish, You’re Poetic and Noble Land Mermaid, You Rainbow Infused Space Unicorn, You Perfect Sunflower – L. Knope
I Love you Like Kanye Loves Kanye
There is Nobody Else I would Rather Lay In Bed and Look at My Phone Next To
I A-dumbledore You
You Deserve a High Five and a Week-Long Vacation, But a High Five Will Have to Do
Thanks for Being my Iron Man
Because you mean so much to me I got you this piece of paper folded in half
Printable Funny Valentine Cards from All Things With Purpose
Sarcastic Valentine’s Day Cards
Our Handcrafted Life has come with some free funny Valentine’s Day cards that are dripping with sarcasm. Here’s what some of them say:
I’m not sick of you yet!
Happy day before half-price candy day!
I love your stupid face
I want to grow old and icky with you
Sarcastic Valentine’s Day Cards from Our Handcrafted Life
Funny Valentine Food Puns
Steph Calvert has designed some foodie funny valentines that have puns about cheese, apples, strawberries, and even tacos.
The cards can be printed all on one page or each as an individual page. You can even frame them if you’d like to make the gift extra special.
Funny Valentine Food Puns from Steph Calvert Art
Whoopee! Valentine’s Day Cards
It doesn’t get much more fun than whoopee cushions, and with these free Valentine’s Day card from Paging Supermom, you get to actually include one with the card.
The card says “Whoopee! It’s Valentine’s Day” with a place to attach a whoopee cushion and add your name.
Whoopee! Valentine’s Day Cards from Paging Supermom