Best Period Quotes

Funny Period Quotes About Menstruation

1. Why are periods so hard?

“Periods are ridiculous. I shouldn’t be punished for not being pregnant.” — Unknown

2. Coincidence? I think not!

“Menstruation. Menopause. Mental breakdowns. Notice how all women’s problems begin with men.” — Unknown

3. If there were a plus side to having your period.

“Maybe if period pain burned calories, it’d be worth it.” — Unknown

4. We women are freaking cool.

“Why you’re bad*ss. Because you can bleed for a week straight without dying.” — Unknown

5. Don’t downplay my emotions. PMS is a real thing.

“Yes, I am on my period. No, that doesn’t mean that my anger is irrational.” — Unknown

6. Suspicious…

“Periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder.” — Unknown

7. Stress is high during that time of the month.

“My uterus is shedding and I will not hesitate to stab you.” — Unknown

8. Truer words were never spoken.

“I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable.” — Unknown

9. Why can’t we feel magical on our periods instead of like we’re dying?

“Periods. Of all things, why blood? Why can’t it be like…fairy dust or something?” — Unknown

10. What’s that all about?

“Cramps…more like angry little ninjas inside you trying to kill you.” — Unknown

11. The pre-symptoms are some of the worst.

“Do you ever start your period and think, ‘well, that explains a lot’.” — Unknown

12. So many bad things happen.

“Ow. My vagina is falling off. I’m going to die. Wow, this is dumb. There goes a pair of my cutest underwear. I’m going to kill myself. Why wasn’t I born a boy?” — Unknown

13. I knew it stood for something different.

“PMS: Prepare to Meet Satan.” — Unknown

14. An endless cycle.

“Stressed because period is a week late, period is a week late because of stress?” — Unknown

15. Why do people assume that periods are not a big deal?

“No! Of course, cramps don’t hurt! It’s just my body laying a freaking egg and if it doesn’t get used, my body will just RIP down the wall inside me. No big deal.” — Unknown

16. Nerves are a real thing.

“Me when my doctor wants me to completely strip: ‘I have my period’.” — Unknown

17. They will never understand.

“Boy: ‘psh! how bad can a period be? So what, you got cramps?’ Girl: ‘how about you let me stab your stomach 100 times and let you bleed out and make you walk around like everything is perfectly fine.'” — Unknown

18. True, they’re never realistic.

“Dear tampon commercial, when I’m on my period, I don’t wear a white bikini or do a backflip. Sincerely, real women.” — Unknown

19. They’re really trying to expose us like that.

“Dear tampon and pad companies, please make your items quieter to open. Sincerely, the whole bathroom who now knows I’m on my period. Thank you.” — Unknown

20. They always appear when we don’t need them are nowhere to be found when we do.

Funny Period Quotes About Menstruation That Time Of The Month

“Can’t find my phone or keys, but I always manage to find the tampon that wants to magically jump out of my purse at the worst possible time.” — Unknown

21. Silly boys.

“I threw a tampon (still in the package) into a crowd of teenage boys just to watch them scream and run in separate directions.” — Unknown

22. We’ve earned a little prize.

“Why don’t they put prizes in your tampon box? Like, your period sucks…here’s 50% off Ben & Jerry’s you cranky b*tch.” — Unknown

23. We’re good for other stuff!

“Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, Windex commercial – you’d think all women do is clean and bleed.” — Unknown

24. He’s been called out.

“Dear Spongebob, you live in Bikini Bottom and you’re super absorbent? Sincerely, you’re a tampon.” — Unknown

25. That’s what it feels like sometimes.

“Who lit the fuse on your tampon?” — Unknown

26. Spoil her! She needs it.

“If your girl is on her period: don’t argue with her, bring her food, watch movies with her, make her something to eat, RUB HER TUMMY, make her laugh, lay down with her, hold her in your arms, massage her, don’t say ‘ew’, handle her mood swings, understand she’s in pain.” — Unknown

27. Any woman who has experienced an unexpected period can relate.

“Period problems: Falling asleep in white sheets and waking up on a Japanese flag.” — Unknown

28. When your period is unpredictable and you’re trying to plan around it.

“If I get my period on my wedding day, I’m calling the wedding off.” — Unknown

29. Don’t even try talking to me at this point.

“When I’m on my period: Person: ‘hey’ Me: ‘Can you shut up?'” — Unknown

30. It’s natural! Don’t be afraid.

“Guys that are grossed out by girls getting their periods are lame. I’m sure your mother was praying to get hers but got you instead, tragic.” — Unknown

31. They owe us at least that much.

“Girls have periods, cramps, babies, and everything else. The least a guy could do is text us first.” — Unknown

32. Such a sweet poem.

“Periods are red, I’m feeling blue, screw you hormones, Mother Nature, I hate you.” — Unknown

33. Poor friends and families.

“I was watching tv and started crying. When my brother asked why I was crying I yell, ‘my uterus is crying blood, so I am crying tears’ he just slowly walked out of the room.” — Unknown

34. Girls gotta stick together.

“I could hate you more than anything else in the world, but if your period soaks through your pants, I got your back girl.” — Unknown

35. He needs to realize his place.

“Just because you have your period, doesn’t mean you get to be a b-tch.’ ‘Oh okay. Just because you have a dick, doesn’t mean you can be one.'” — Unknown

36. It’s a love-hate relationship. Mostly hate.

“What’s a period? Uterus wants a baby. A person doesn’t have a baby. Uterus wants revenge.” — Unknown

37. Never doubt yourself!

“Do you ever start crying about something and then the next day you get your period and you’re like I knew I wasn’t a weak *ss b*tch!” — Unknown

38. Be there for her.

“Dear guys, If you know that your girl is on her period, bring her pizza or fries or ice cream or any food you know she likes. It’ll make her happy in her most crappy days of the month.” — Unknown

39. Oh yikes. Educate this man.

“My tampon string was hanging out of my bathing suit. my boyfriend pulled at it thinking it was a thread from my bathing suit and publicly ripped out my tampon.” — Unknown

40. Love the time you have.

“If you’re not on your period right now, just take a moment to appreciate it.” — Unknown

Menstruation Quotes

“When she bleeds the smells I know change colour. There is iron in her soul on those days. She smells like a gun.”
― Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body
“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
― Roseanne Barr
“The great mother whom we call Innana gave a gift to woman that is not known among men, and this is the secret of blood. The flow at the dark of the moon, the healing blood of the moon’s birth – to men, this is flux and distemper, bother and pain. They imagine we suffer and consider themselves lucky. We do not disabuse them.

In the red tent, the truth is known. In the red tent, where days pass like a gentle stream, as the gift of Innana courses through us, cleansing the body of last month’s death, preparing the body to receive the new month’s life, women give thanks — for repose and restoration, for the knowledge that life comes from between our legs, and that life costs blood.”
― Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

“I bleed twelve weeks a year, so I know a thing or two about bloodstains.”
― Amanda Lovelace, The Witch Doesn’t Burn in This One
“A woman must wait for her ovaries to die before she can get her rightful personality back. Post-menstrual is the same as pre-menstrual; I am once again what I was before the age of twelve: a female human being who knows that a month has thirty day, not twenty-five, and who can spend every one of them free of the shackles of that defect of body and mind known as femininity.”
― Florence King
“Gradually my whole concept of time changed until I thought of a month as having twenty-five days of humanness and five others when I might just as well have been an animal in a steel trap.”
― Florence King
“ honouring the demands of our bleeding, our blood gives us something in return. The crazed bitch from irritation hell recedes. In her place arises a side of ourselves with whom we may not-at first- be comfortable. She is a vulnerable, highly perceptive genius who can ponder a given issue and take her world by storm. When we’re quiet and bleeding, we stumble upon solutions to dilemmas that’ve been bugging us all month. Inspiration hits and moments of epiphany rumba ‘cross de tundra of our senses. In this mode of existence one does not feel antipathy towards a bodily ritual that so profoundly and reinforces our cuntpower. ”
― Inga Muscio, Cunt: A Declaration of Independence
“I have periods now, like normal girls; I too am among the knowing, I too can sit out volleyball games and go to the nurse’s for aspirin and waddle along the halls with a pad like a flattened rabbit tail wadded between my legs, sopping with liver-colored blood.”
― Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye
“It was 1976.
It was one of the darkest days of my life when that nurse, Mrs. Shimmer, pulled out a maxi pad that measured the width and depth of a mattress and showed us how to use it. It had a belt with it that looked like a slingshot that possessed the jaw-dropping potential to pop a man’s head like a gourd. As she stretched the belt between the fingers of her two hands, Mrs. Shimmer told us becoming a woman was a magical and beautiful experience.

I remember thinking to myself, You’re damn right it had better be magic, because that’s what it’s going to take to get me to wear something like that, Tinkerbell! It looked like a saddle. Weighed as much as one, too. Some girls even cried.
I didn’t.
I raised my hand.
“Mrs. Shimmer,” I asked the cautiously, “so what kind of security napkins do boys wear when their flower pollinates? Does it have a belt, too?”
The room got quiet except for a bubbling round of giggles.
“You haven’t been paying attention, have you?” Mrs. Shimmer accused sharply. “Boys have stamens, and stamens do not require sanitary napkins. They require self control, but you’ll learn that soon enough.”
I was certainly hoping my naughty bits (what Mrs. Shimmer explained to us was like the pistil of a flower) didn’t get out of control, because I had no idea what to do if they did.”
― Laurie Notaro, The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life

“We knew we shouldn’t be ashamed. We weren’t ashamed. We were grown-ass women—which is obviously why we paraded to the restrooms with tampons secretly stuffed into our cardigan sleeves as though we were spies delivering encrypted information.
….We pretended that all of this was a myth. That we had neither fallopian tubes, nor menstrual cycles, nor breasts, nor moods, nor children. And then we took it as a compliment when one of the men in the office told us we had balls. So, tell us again how this wasn’t a man’s world.”
― Chandler Baker, Whisper Network
“Leaders bleed, period.”
― Silvia Young, My FemTruth: Scandalous Survival Stories
“There is a bench in the back of my garden shaded by Virginia creeper, climbing roses, and a white pine where I sit early in the morning and watch the action. Light blue bells of a dwarf campanula drift over the rock garden just before my eyes. Behind it, a three-foot stand of aconite is flowering now, each dark blue cowl-like corolla bowed for worship or intrigue: thus its common name, monkshood. Next to the aconite, black madonna lilies with their seductive Easter scent are just coming into bloom. At the back of the garden, a hollow log, used in its glory days for a base to split kindling, now spills white cascade petunias and lobelia.

I can’t get enough of watching the bees and trying to imagine how they experience the abundance of, say, a blue campanula blosssom, the dizzy light pulsing, every fiber of being immersed in the flower. …

Last night, after a day in the garden, I asked Robin to explain (again) photosynthesis to me. I can’t take in this business of _eating light_ and turning it into stem and thorn and flower…

I would not call this meditation, sitting in the back garden. Maybe I would call it eating light. Mystical traditions recognize two kinds of practice: _apophatic mysticism_, which is the dark surrender of Zen, the Via Negativa of John of the Cross, and _kataphatic mysticism_, less well defined: an openhearted surrender to the beauty of creation. Maybe Francis of Assissi was, on the whole, a kataphatic mystic, as was Thérèse of Lisieux in her exuberant momemnts: but the fact is, kataphatic mysticism has low status in religious circles. Francis and Thérèse were made, really made, any mother superior will let you know, in the dark nights of their lives: no more of this throwing off your clothes and singing songs and babbling about the shelter of God’s arms.

When I was twelve and had my first menstrual period, my grandmother took me aside and said, ‘Now your childhood is over. You will never really be happy again.’ That is pretty much how some spiritual directors treat the transition from kataphatic to apophatic mysticism.

But, I’m sorry, I’m going to sit here every day the sun shines and eat this light. Hung in the bell of desire.”
― Mary Rose O’Reilley, The Barn at the End of the World: The Apprenticeship of a Quaker, Buddhist Shepherd

“Once we start to work with Feminine power we begin to see that it is not our minds that are in control of this power – it ebbs and flows with the movements of the planets, the procession of the seasons, the moons and tides, our own internal cycles of menstruality, anniversaries, the events around us. All these and more impact our experience and expressions of power. We learn to become aware of these various patterns and their impact on us and work more consciously with rather than against or in spite of them. We learn that they are all part of the same process. We open towards the energy, rather than shut down to it. We learn to trust the flow.”
― Lucy H. Pearce, Burning Woman
“The shedding of blood has historically been seen as a male act of heroism: from right-of-passage fistfights, to contact sports and combat. Infrequent, random events seen as standalone milestones; stories to tell once the pain – and enough time – has passed. Female bleeding is more mundane, more frequent, more getonwithit, despite its existence being the reason that every single life begins”
― Sinéad Gleeson, Constellations: Reflections From Life
“Women’s regular bleeding engenders phantoms.”
― Paracelsus
“Women are females and men are males. According to gynaecologists, women menstruate every month or so, while men, being male, do not menstruate or suffer during the monthly period. A women, being female, is naturally subject to monthly bleeding. When a women does not menstruate, she is pregnant. If she is pregnant, she becomes, due to pregnancy, less active for about a year.”
― Muammar Al-Qaddafi, The Green Book
“In terms of language, there were no separate words for female genitalia for thousands of years. That was mostly because women were considered pretty much the same as men, only of course flimsier, more poorly designed, and incapable of writing in the snow.”
― Elissa Stein and Susan Kim
“Never mess with a woman in PMS and a man on Testosterone.”
― Abhijit Naskar
“Each twinge, each murmur of slight pain, ripples of sloughed-off matter, swellings and diminishings of tissue, the droolings of the flesh, these are signs, these are the things I need to know about. Each month I watch for blood, fearfully, for when it comes it means failure. I have failed once again to fulfill the expectations of others, which have become my own.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
“Some called it Eve’s curse but she thought that was stupid, and the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam, who as soon as there was any trouble, blamed it all on her.”
― Margaret Atwood, Alias Grace
“Menstruation is not a problem, poor menstrual hygiene is”
― Anurag Chauhan
“Poor menstrual hygiene is a problem, as big as polio”
― Anurag Chauhan
“Get to know your cycle.”
― Adrienne Posey
“The hardest thing about being a woman isn’t menstruation or giving birth. It’s resisting the pressure to love handbags, makeup, high heels … and men.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, F for Philosopher: A Collection of Funny Yet Profound Aphorisms
“You see, to us, having a period was humiliating or exhilarating, instead of something that normally happened to every woman.”
― Binati Sheth, ShhhARK WEEK
“If only people communicated with each other, women won’t have to come up with lame excuses when what we want to say is, “Our body feels like shit today. Can we please take a day off and catch up tomorrow?”
― Binati Sheth, ShhhARK WEEK
“Talking about the ooze that leaks out of our orifices is uncomfortable for everyone involved.”
― Binati Sheth, ShhhARK WEEK
“If only people didn’t build this air of mystery around menstruating women, you would have caught a few of us smack dab in the middle of our excuses.”
― Binati Sheth, ShhhARK WEEK
“Nothing else in the world makes a man like that more afraid than five girls on their periods.”
― Anna-Marie McLemore, Wild Beauty
“Menstruation is just a way of your body letting go of something that is no longer needed.”
― Adriana Vandelinde, English for Her: Everything You Always Wanted to Know but Were Afraid to Ask

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