Most Heavenly Good Omens Quotes
Good Omens is packed with wonderfully quotable moments, but these are our absolute favorites.
10“Funny If We Both Got It Wrong, Eh?”
It’s the quote that started it all. When Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden and Crowley (Crawly at this point in the book) puts the entire situation into perspective: what if they both do right by their beliefs but wrong by their orders–that is to say, by angel and demon standards?
Crowley asked Aziraphale, “Funny thing is, I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn’t the right thing to do, as well. A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing. Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?” Aziraphale did NOT find it funny.
9“Don’t Let Me Tempt You”
There are so many flirty moments in both the Good Omens book and miniseries that it’s no wonder the Internet has taken to referring to the world’s most genteel angel and lackadaisical demon as “Ineffable Husbands.” One prime example happens when Crowley tells Azirphale that he’s never eaten an oyster in the series.
Aziraphale looks delighted at the prospect of introducing his friend to a new food and responds, “Oh well, let me tempt you to… Oh, no, that’s, that’s your job, isn’t it.” Not only is it a flirty quip, but it’s about an aphrodisiac and it points out yet another way the lines between their jobs are so blurry.
8“Just Canceling Each Other Out”
When Crowley and Aziraphale finally realize that no matter what they do, they will always be canceled out by one another, it’s one of the most hilarious moments of the show. Crowley points out, “So we are both working very hard in damp places and just canceling each other out.” This is a big turning point as they begin to make decisions that go against their orders, realizing that they don’t even matter in the larger scheme of things. Why not trade their misery for pleasure, like human food and music?
It’s made clear that the humans are far more capable of messing things up for themselves than the demons are and that they usually only need a nudge, if anything.
7“We Are Here To Lick Some Serious Butt”
There have been a number of comparisons drawn between Supernatural and Good Omens, from the inclusion of a demon named Crowley to similar themes like the end of the world and ambiguous relationships between main characters. When Aziraphale, while inhabiting the body of Madame Tracy, says, “We are here to lick some serious butt!” it brings us back to the time the angel Castiel tried his hand at cursing while doing some butt-kicking, too.
The line is hilarious, and Crowley, as usual, is disgusted that the angel can’t master the simple human phrase and responds, “Kick, Aziraphale, it’s kick butt! For heaven’s sake.”
6“I Like Pears”
While Aziraphale didn’t say that he liked turtles, he might as well have as popular as he’s become across the Internet. His love of good food, whether it’s simple pears or grapes or something more complex like sushi, brioche or “decent” crepes, makes him even more endearing, and he has a number of food quotes scattered throughout the miniseries.
The most adorable quote is when he simply remarks, “I like pears,” which isn’t only a straightforward declaration of his love of something earthly, but a fun nod to David Tennant’s speech as The Doctor about how much he hated the fruit.
5“It’s On The Street, It Knows The Risks”
Crowley’s mad driving is a contention between the odd couple, even though, as they both acknowledge, an accident would only cause an inconvenience for both their forms rather than either of their demise. As Crowley careens down the street, Aziraphale warns him to watch out for the pedestrians that he could hit.
Crowley scoffs, “It’s on the street, it knows the risks it’s taking.” This dismissive comment about humans is funny, but it also demonstrates that Crowley is still looking out for number one after all of this time. Even when it comes to the end of the world, it’s more about him being able to enjoy the planet – and the company of his best friend – than saving humans.
4“Perhaps We Should Wait”
When taxed with the horrible task of destroying the Antichrist, Adam, before the kid takes out the Earth and all of its books and foods that he loves so dearly, Aziraphale, again in the host body of Madame Tracy, hesitates and says, “Perhaps we should wait.” This is in direct juxtaposition to his aiding with the flood that took out all of the children on Earth, which Crowley had a big issue with earlier in their history.
This time it’s Crowley egging him on, saying, “What, til he grows up? Shoot him, Aziraphale!” Luckily Adam makes better choices than either of them expect.
3“I Would Always Know The Stain Was There”
Fans of the book will always remember the moment Crowley and Aziraphale got shot and how their breaths stuck in their throats as they worried whether or not the two would be alright. In the miniseries, it was quickly evident that aside from bursts of paint, they are fine, save for Aziraphale lamenting over the stain on his 180-year-old jacket, which he’s kept in tip-top condition.
When the demon asks his friend why he doesn’t just miracle the stain away, Aziraphale sadly says, “Yes, but I would always know the stain was there.” It’s a hilarious testament to just how refined this angel has become while living among the humans.
2“What Are They Putting In Bananas These Days?”
The scene in which Aziraphale and Crowley get drunk is hilarious in both the book and the film, and watching Crowley demand, “What are they putting in bananas these days?” is comedic gold. Aziraphale sounding out, “Kraken… great big bugger…” while making a face is also a delight.
Of course, it’s not limited to just this. Crowley’s “My point is… dolphins. That’s my point,” and his trying to sound out just what kind of stew the ocean will be once it’s bubbling and boiling cracks fans up. The entire scene is just one to re-watch, which is why fans have uploaded it on YouTube for this purpose.
1“I’ll Never Talk To You Again”
When Satan approaches to convince Adam to complete Armageddon, Aziraphale makes a desperate plea to Crowley, hoping the demon will come up with one of his many schemes to save them both. “Come up with something or I’ll never talk to you again!”
This quote is beloved by fans because it acknowledges so much, from the angel’s reliance upon his friend to continually bail him out of trouble to their many relationship quirks. How many partners threaten to never talk to one another again if some silly condition isn’t met? It’s also just a really funny line that Sheen delivers perfectly.
Funny ‘Good Omens’ Quotes By Crowley
Crowley, who is cast into Hell, is part of the Fallen Angels and is asked to cause problems. He tempts Adam and Eve to eat fruit from the ‘Tree of Knowledge’. Crowley is not sure if he has done the right thing, speaks to Aziphrale, and convinces him to give Adam a shining sword. The sequence of events that follow, makes ‘Good Omens’ a fun watch. Here we bring some Crowley quotes from ‘Good Omens’-TV Series.
1.”A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing. He nudged the angel. ‘Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?’.”
-Crowley.
2.”Still a demon? What kind of dumb question is that? What else am I going to be? An aardvark?!”
-Crowley.
3.” So we are both working very hard in damp places and just canceling each other out.”
-Crowley.
4.” And after a thousand years it goes and does it all again.”
-Crowley.
5.”Is it my fault they never checkup? I’m to blame they never checkup?”
-Crowley.
6. “I felt it. Would I lie to you?”
-Crowley.
Neil Gaiman Quotes From The Book
Few books quotes from Neil Gaiman’s original work – ‘Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch’ were scripted to suit the television audience. Now that you have read a few funny tv-series quotes, here we bring a few beautiful ‘Good Omens’ quotes from the original book, which are sure to make you revisit it and enjoy a read.
7.”Why are we talking about this good and evil? They’re just names for sides. We know that.”
― Neil Gaiman.
8.”She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.”
― Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett.
9.”An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards.”
― Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett.
10.“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”
― Neil Gaiman.
11.”Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them.”
― Neil Gaiman.
12.” ‘You’re Hell’s Angels, then? What chapter are you from?’
‘REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX.”
― Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett.
13.”You don’t have to test everything to destruction just to see if you made it right.”
― Neil Gaiman.
14.”Agnes was the worst prophet that’s ever existed. Because she was always right.”
― Neil Gaiman.
15.”Notoriety wasn’t as good as fame, but was heaps better than obscurity.”
― Neil Gaiman.
Famous Terry Pratchett Quotes
Terry Pratchett was a humorist, fantasy author, and satirist of the 1990s. Apart from ‘Good Omens’ he also authored several other books, including Discworld, Nation, and The Nome Trilogy. Here is a short compilation of other famous quotes from Terry Pratchett.
16.”What is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?’Death thought about it.CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
― Terry Pratchett, ‘Sourcery’.
17.”It’s useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.”
-Terry Pratchett.
18.”Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
― Terry Pratchett, ‘Hogfather’.
19.”The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, ‘Diggers’.
20.“When in doubt, choose to live.”
― Terry Pratchett, ‘Thief of Time’.
21.“What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man?”
― Terry Pratchett, ‘Reaper Man’.
22.“Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.”
― Terry Pratchett.
23.“It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”
― Terry Pratchett, ‘Men at Arms’.
24.“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
-Terry Pratchett.
25.“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
-Terry Pratchett.
26.“Personal isn’t the same as important.”
—Terry Pratchett, ‘Men at Arms’.
Humorous Aziraphale Quotes From ‘Good Omens’
Aziraphale is an Angel in the ‘Good Omens’ book. A series of conversations with Crowley, as follows, generate good laughs.
27.”Oh well, let me tempt you to… Oh, no, that’s, that’s your job, isn’t it.”
-Aziraphale.
28.”Oh, it’s a new cologne. My barber suggested it.”
-Aziraphale.
29.”Get thee behind me, foul fiend.”
-Aziraphale.
30.”Yes, but you told them you invented the Spanish Inquisition and started the Second World War.”
-Aziraphale.
31.”Well, that was scrumptious. What are you in the mood for now?”
-Aziraphale.
