Positive Quotes

Best Cable Guy Quotes 2021

The Cable Guy Quotes & Sayings

#1. I don’t think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that’s the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1233159

#2. I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT CRITICS, LIKE I SAID THEY DONT BUY TICKETS. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1374743

#3. As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I’m married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1369553

#4. THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1359831

#5. Tony Orlando is one of the nicest guys I have ever met – bar none – in my entire life. I was always a fan when I was a kid – you know, huge fan. Who wasn’t a fan of Tony Orlando? – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1352482

#6. Doing a kid’s movie is fun when you have kids. You don’t want to do kids’ movies if you don’t have kids. When you have kids, things change in your life. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1346024

#7. Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped. – Author: Andy Kindler

Cable Guy Quotes #1317430

#8. I don’t judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn’t spell. I judge a person by their character. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1308084

#9. I split time between Nebraska and Florida. I’ll come to Nebraska in the summertime and stay through Thanksgiving and then I go back to Florida because I have family in both places. One of the reasons I got the place in Nebraska is I’ve always wanted to live back in Nebraska. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1304250

#10. Even before I did stand-up, I’ve always been the kind of guy – and I talk about it on stage – who says I like people and I always look for the good in people. I say, ‘Every person has something good about them, if you can just find it.’ – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1301763

#11. I was scared into being good. But I’m sure I did regular kid stuff. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1296413

#12. I THINK ITS COOL THAT OTHER CROWDS LIKE WHAT I DO. HOWEVER IVE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD MIX OF PEOPLE AT MY SHOWS. I STARTED DOING THINGS ON RADIO ON ROCK MARKETS AND ALTERNATIVE MARKETS. IVE ALWAYS BEEN A COUNTRY TYPE ACT HOWEVER I STARTED WITH THE ROCK MARKET. IM VERY INTERCHANGEABLE. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1236367

#13. I ALWAYS HAVE DONE WELL HOWEVER IN BLUE STATES AND RED STATES. IVE NEVER REALLY ALIGNED MYSELF WITH ALL THAT RED STATE BLUE STATE DR. SUESS CRAP BECAUSE WERE ALL AMERICANS AND WE ALL LIKE TO LAUGH. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1381152

#14. Sometimes you’ve gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1213733

#15. I am called to love my neighbor, which I do. I can disagree with my neighbor about several things, but I’m not going to hate my neighbor. It’s not up to me to hate anybody. It’s not up to me to judge anyone. It’s up to me to be nice, to be kind and to do everything I can to help somebody. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1211627

#16. The only reason I’m ever in character as ‘Larry The Cable Guy’ is because that’s what I’m hired to do. In my movies, obviously they hired ‘Larry The Cable Guy’ to be ‘Larry The Cable Guy.’ When I do my shows, I’m ‘Larry The Cable Guy.’ When I do Jay Leno, it’s: ‘Please welcome ‘Larry The Cable Guy.’ – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1168718

#17. President Obama. He is the man. I’ve tried the rest, and he is the best. My dream is for him to appoint me to be the Secretary of Humor. My first act will be to make whatever Larry the Cable Guy is doing illegal. – Author: Andy Kindler

Cable Guy Quotes #1138914

#18. What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There’s a commercial – the smart car has zero percent interest for six years. Well, good, I got zero percent in six years in buying this smart car. I’ll tell you that much. I mean, it’s ridiculous. My buddy has a smart car, totaled it. He hit a deer tick. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1115372

#19. I get so sick and tired of Wikipedia. People write their own crap on there. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1115006

#20. I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1070351

#21. I’m officially near-famous. If you’ve got four year old kids and you’ve got cable, then you’ve got no choice but to know who I am. But if you’re one of my peers – a 26-year old guy who lives in Manhattan – you have no idea who I am. I’m only famous if you’re four. – Author: Steve Burns

Cable Guy Quotes #1069530

#22. I don’t even see it as cable TV anymore. I’ve been called ‘Larry the Cable Guy’ for so long, I don’t even think about it being about cable. I don’t know anything about cable. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1064528

#23. When I was a kid down there it was always a dream to go to a Nebraska game but when you live in those small towns you hardly ever get up to one. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1054467

#24. I’ve never judged anybody by how they look or how they dress. I basically judge them on their character. And that’s how I lead my own life. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1554392

#25. But then you slammed a door handle into my gut. And when a girl does that to a guy; it means she likes him. – Author: Lisa McMann

Cable Guy Quotes #1874226

#26. When Pixar calls and says, ‘Hey, you wanna be in a Pixar movie?’ you don’t do a lot of contemplating! – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1851830

#27. I know I don’t want to take the Lord’s name in vain, and I don’t want to drop any F-bombs. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1836032

#28. There’s the old joke, “What’s the difference between country and redneck? Well, that’s three hundred dollars.” – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1767421

#29. Living in a small town you couldn’t go anywhere on a Saturday where a store had the game on. If you were downtown you heard the game. If you were at the gas station you heard the game. I remember I would be mowing the lawn and I would stop for the Nebraska game. I would have it cranking outside. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1717330

#30. I’m more of a rodeo type guy. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1685403

#31. What I do onstage, there’s maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They’re really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love ’em; they’re awesome. They’re good people. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1663033

#32. One of my little girls is named Reagan. Her first words were, ‘Mr. Larry, tear down this crib.’ That was her first words, it was very sweet. My first words were, ‘Are you going to finish that sandwich?’ – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1658624

#33. People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, “He wasn’t a bad kid. He was never an unruly kid, always listened and obeyed.” – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1627395

#34. I’m a huge NASCAR fan, but I’m not a gearhead. I’ve never been into fixing cars. It’s not because I don’t like it. I would love to know more. It’s just my dad never taught me that stuff because my dad wasn’t a mechanic. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1618881

#35. I can have different opinions with anybody. I can still be a friend with that person. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1592082

#36. When you’re married with kids, you just think differently. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1049935

#37. I’ve been fortunate, I’ve been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you have a big fan base, and I have a great fan base. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1549273

#38. There’s nothing better than a Nebraska summer so I wanted to live there in the summer time and visit my family and go to as many Nebraska games as I could. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1532364

#39. It’s nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take themselves way too seriously sometimes. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1518212

#40. I hate flying. I’m not a big fan of flying at all so everywhere I go I go by tour bus. If I have to fly I will but I’m not a big fan of it. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1498784

#41. I’ve been down in Florida since 1979. When you’re born in Nebraska you really can’t explain it. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1471935

#42. I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1448942

#43. I’ve always felt that if you’ve been blessed, you should try to help as many people as you can. I just think that’s the right thing to do. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1444933

#44. Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1443268

#45. I’ve only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #1437229

#46. Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He’s Mr. T without the acting chops. – Author: Lisa Lampanelli

Cable Guy Quotes #1420673

#47. I have thick skin. I’m not a baby. Nothing really offends me. If there’s something I think might offend me, I don’t listen to it. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #242209

#48. My dad was a non-denominational preacher, actually a Congregationalist which is really where all congregations come to congregate. That’s why it’s called a Congregationalist. Later on in life, he just became a non-denominational preacher, kind of a fire and brimstone type guy. That’s how I grew up. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #552065

#49. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #539418

#50. I’m not a party guy, and I’m not a Hollywood guy, either. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #464091

#51. The thing that’s changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There might be a joke or two in the past that I wish I hadn’t done, but in the past, you can’t have it back. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #435020

#52. I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #372370

#53. You learn a lot though when you have kids, I’ll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you’re not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper? – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #332880

#54. I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was a guidance counselor at Wymore High School. He was also a preacher and did farming as well. We leased out our crop land but had cattle and horses. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #310802

#55. I don’t really get to see a lot of other comedians, because I work with the same people all the time. The guy I really like is Nick DiPaulo. I love Nick DiPaulo, but again, he’s a buddy of mine. But I liked him for a long time. I liked him before he was a buddy of mine. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #270013

#56. I’m always wearing a Nebraska hat. Most of the time I’m wearing something that’s got a Husker something on it. I make sure I have it on TV but I have it regularly. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #262513

#57. I saw a sign one time that said ‘hemorrhoids awareness week’ at the doctor’s office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I’m sure you are aware of it. You don’t need a sign to tell anybody about it. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #262292

#58. The goal of cable news executives is not to make me an informed citizen of Earth. Their mission is to tickle the dark reptilian depths of my brain and hook me so they can then barter with my soul for advertising revenue. – Author: Guy P. Harrison

Cable Guy Quotes #244267

#59. I don’t take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh. – Author: Larry The Cable Guy

Cable Guy Quotes #556877

#60. Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan’s show, Conan O’Brien was so offended by Larry’s material, he had to walk away from the desk he was so offended. – Author: Andy Kindler

Cable Guy Quotes #218490

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