Alone On Valentine’s Day Quotes

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes about Being Single

  • I love being single. It’s almost like being rich. Sue Grafton 
  • If being in love is what it means to be free, then this Valentine’s Day my heart is in solitary confinement!
  • This February 14th, take a moment to laugh thoroughly at your singlehood, everybody else does!
  • I had every intent of celebrating Valentine’s Day, but when Cupid got around to me it seems he had run out of arrows.
  • If singleness were a crime, you, my friend, would certainly be one of the most dangerous criminals on planet Earth.
  • One of the biggest pros of being single is that you’re 100% sure you haven’t get yourself involved with the wrong person.
  • If lovers get half price off on Valentine’s Day, then singles should just get everything for free.
I've been single for a while and I have to say, it's going very well.'s working out. I think I'm the One! Emily Heller

I’ve been single for a while and I have to say, it’s going very well. Like…it’s working out. I think I’m the One! Emily Heller

  • It sucks spending Valentine’s Day alone, but at least I’ll have more money to spend to make myself happy!
  • Singlehood is good on your pocket. Wishing a fantastic Valentine’s Day to you.
  • Does anyone know the perfect gift to get a robot to wish it a Happy Valentine’s Day?
  • This Valentine’s Day, I want to give a mighty shout-out to all my peeps for still having the courage to smile despite being as single as f**k!
When you are single you can't be dating the wrong person.

When you are single you can’t be dating the wrong person.

  • This fine V-Day, I’m going to spend every single cent I have on my one and only love – me.
  • I dumped my girlfriend on February 13th in hopes that being alone on Valentine’s Day will make me appreciate her more.
  • I’m single today because my heart was created to pump blood and not fall in love.
  • I am out to break the Guinness world record for most Valentine Days spent alone.
  • I have chosen to be single because it makes my bank account as fat as Shrek.
  • Me and an entire box of chocolate all to myself is a match made in heaven!
  • By God, I shall spend the entire Valentine’s Day with the love of my life…Myself!
  • I gave my no-good boyfriend the boot earlier this month, making this the happiest Valentine’s Day I’ve had in years!
I'm single because I was born that way. Mae West
  • Singledom might not be the best for you, but it surely is great for your purse on V-Day!
  • If Cupid is such an advocate of intimate love, then why is that he has never been spotted with a girlfriend or wife, not even on Valentine’s Day? Something is definitely not right!
  • My quest to spend every Valentine’s Day alone is based on a personal goal of achieving spiritual oneness.
  • My girlfriend is 1000 miles away this Val’s Day, and I want to extend her my sincerest holiday wishes that she stay there!
  • If you could get a good look at my ex, then you would see why I now consider Valentine’s Day more like Halloween.
Valentine's day quote for me.

  • If I actually had enough money to celebrate a holiday as frivolous as Valentine’s Day, then my girlfriend from last year would still be around.
  • I’m like a one-man shipping vessel on Valentine’s Day – mateless.
  • I’m single because I’m so hot that I literally burn anyone that comes closer to me.
  • I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. The only problem is she’s invincible.
  • Had singleness been an Olympic sport, I would surely win multiple gold medals.
  • During Valentine’s Days like this, I feel like going back in time and freeing the love of my love from being trapped in a condom.
  • After I got finished dealing with him for his last screw-up Cupid is thoroughly afraid of even looking my direction on Valentine’s Day.
  • There’s nothing I am better at doing than being single!
  • Cupid pulled out his biggest arrow, aimed right at my heart and fired with all his might – but still missed.
  • I guess I’d just have to date myself today.
  • Whoever aborted the love of my life will not escaped my vengeance.
  • It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m going to do it solo like Demi Lovato!
  • This Valentine, I can’t help but envy my calendar simply because it has dates whereas I don’t.
  • Forever a proud member of the Association of Single Men and Women!
  • When you have long-lasting AA batteries, being single can be super awesome!
  • The reason I’m single this February 14th is because Kanye West stole Kim Kardashian from me.
  • A few people have the privilege of enjoying Valentine’s Day with someone they truly love, but even fewer have the blessing of enjoying it even more alone!
  • I like to look myself more as a free agent than a lonely single on Valentine’s Day.
  • Valentine’s Day is appropriately the only holiday where the popular character that symbolizes the occasion is brandishing a very deadly weapon. Thank God I’m single!
  • Next February I’m going to file a lawsuit against Valentine’s Day for singles’ discrimination.
  • The faithful pizza delivery man, who lovingly spreads pepperoni over the cheese, is the only Valentine I need this year.
  • The way that I’m always forced to spend Valentine’s Day alone makes me believe that Cupid has a personal beef with me.
  • Cupid called and said he can’t make it over this February 14th as it seems the TSA detained him for carrying what they perceive as suspicious-looking chocolates.
  • If Valentine’s Day is all about affection and chocolate, then it should be a holiday dedicated to appreciating fat people.
  • Since I don’t have a partner, on Valentine’s Day, I will go around and collect Cupid’s broken arrow and then sell it back to him on eBay.
  • If acquiring a boyfriend was as easy as becoming fat, I certainly would have had one to share my Valentine’s Day with.

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