Whatsapp has been around for quite a while now, and the people using this social media app had been pretty creative in writing down their status—correction, they have been pretty much slaying their status with lots of sass and style.
Here are some of the best and wittiest status you can borrow (and probably pawn as yours. Don’t worry. We won’t tell a soul. *Wink*). Check out this plethora of pure awesomeness:
I do not have an attitude; I simply have the personality you are not ready for.
Hey, I never said I was perfect, just awesome.
It simply isn’t fair that I don’t get to have a cool child like me, my parents are soooo lucky!
Honey, if you can’t see what you are missing, you need to get your eyes checked—or your brain, take your pick.
Was I the only one awake when God gave out the gift of having a brain?
It’s fun being me! Sucks you can’t try it.
Sweety, I woke up in a Coco Chanel Pajama set, do you think I’m the type you bring to Forever21?
I get that you like copying my status a lot, but girl you don’t have to paste my name in it, too.
I complete Me.
God blessed this world with wonderful creations, I mean look at me! Am I not just the best blessing ever?
I have two options today: Wake up awesome or sleep awesome.
Don’t you just love people that love you more than you love them? #mememe
I’m sorry, did I offend you with my Awesomeness?
Awesome ends with a me, but ugly starts with a u.
I chose to be size 14 because, let us be honest; size 2 cannot handle all of my awesome.
My description of you is not an insult. I’m only stating a fact.
You being hotter than me does not change the fact that I am cooler than you.
Time is precious, use it in anyway you like.
We hate the things we can’t understand.
Life is so short, live it fully.
Silence is one weapon most hated by idiots.
Motivate yourself enough to make optimism a habit.
It isn’t your body that makes you beautiful; it’s how you treat others that makes you beautiful.
Live your dreams to the fullest and live not a day of regret!
Life is a long journey, choose your travel buddy wisely.
Blood makes us related, but love makes us family.
Life goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on….
Mistakes educates better than the books.
Failing is just something you can’t avoid.
Get acquainted with failure and make it your mentor.
Have tons of friends for every stage of your life, but don’t forget which ones you should keep for the rest of it.
A person who has never made a mistake in his life has not lived a day of it.
Anger is such a waste of emotion and energy.
Read more heed more.
Be the rainbow after someone’s storm.
If your dream does not frighten you, it is not as big as you think.
Success: There are plenty of failures from where that came from.
Work hard enough until counting your money can’t be done manually.
Don’t work for money, let money work for you.
If you grab every opportunity life gives you, you’ll never know of regret.
Don’t be afraid to do what makes you happy, it is your life anyway.
Narrow minded people will never understand those who are not like them.
Life is an obstacle course, thank God I am an athlete, cause it’s gonna be fun.
Don’t learn from your mistakes, learn it from other’s mistake and try not to make them.
I am not untidy! I have this thing called organizationally handicapped.
They say love is in the air, but it actually consists of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, helium, oxygen, you know, stuff that actually have a matter?
My job is working me super hard I always end up paying it thru hospital bills.
Whatsapp status: Don’t message me if you’re not my girlfriend. (said no man ever.)
There are Three rules to remember in life; one) do not panic, two) if you do panic, calm the heck down, three) Repeat 1 and 2.
The mirror confirmed that I am the most smartest persons in the world.
Love thy neighbor!-and try not to get caught.
What’s your problem, other than your face?
If you don’t want to get divorced, don not get married.
Whenever I meet a horrible person, I just feel sorry that the other sperm didn’t win.
In an argument: Once you caps lock, you ain’t going back.
My friend promised he’d lose seven pounds at the gym. He now lost seven days at the gym.
My battery life is too short, can you type faster than that?
Atom is such a liar! He just makes up everything!!!
You are currently wasting your time reading this status when you should be writing your own.
What does a Rich man and a Broke man have in common? An Iphone.
Be warned: I know KungFu (panda).
Just like my dad, I have always enjoyed dreaming of being rich. So like Dad, I kept sleeping all day. #RoleModel
Available: a month ago. Sorry!
I am the king of my house! But like most kingdoms, my wife is the Prime Minister.
My bank has a cool feature where you can get updates about your account balance thru text. I mean that’s awesome, but in the end was not necessary.
My friends call me Andrew, but you can call me later.
When I was born, Satan started checking out retirement homes.
Do not let go of your dreams! Sleep!
Stop counting my good deeds, they’re deposited in a Swiss bank for future use.
I lit a cigarette every time I complete a day without smoking.
They let you graduate? Well I guess thermometer isn’t the only brainless thing with a degree now.
I’ll have a WiFi for a tombstone so my ungrateful children can visit me more often.
Don’t you dare play innocent with me, I should know, I have mastered it!
The most painful breakups are the ones done thru text and ends with friends?
I am not lonely just because I’m alone!
I accidentally double tapped on my ex’s IG picture with his GF. Help!!
FBI should hire my ex. Her online stalking skills can definitely help the cops chase down bad guys.
Don’t believe every I miss you text you receive, if they really do, they would call.
You are dating my ex boyfriend? Nice. I am almost done eating this pizza… You want my leftovers, too?
Friend: I am done with him. Me: Great! Let’s go get beer! Friend: He loves drinking beer!! *Cries*
I know you just went through a break up, but you have got to do something about those brows—it ain’t gonna do itself.
Do not chat me if you’re gonna ask “wassup”.
YOLO = You only Leave once
Friendship ends when relationship begins.
You would know if you’re a priority when you don’t have to squeeze yourself into his schedule.
Moving on starts when you stop checking up on his Facebook.
We attract the love we think we deserve.
Some people couch their status in general terms when really they just have that one person they wrote it for.
The things we lose have its way of returning.
You gravitate towards the people that betters you, and away from those that harm you.
The bright side hurts my eyes.
When you’re sad, you listen to the lyrics, when you’re happy, you listen to the melody.
I don’t have the money to pay attention to you!
I wish I could backspace you out of my life!
So that’s the girl you’re dating now. I’m disappointed with the trade down. You could have done way better.
Cellphones are better than most girlfriends, at least you can switch it to Silent mode.
Don’t take my silence as forgiveness. Take it as it is and go.
The cool side of a freshly flipped pillow. #heaven
If my boss had time to check out my status updates, he would probably stop calling me unproductive.
Facebook and life are the same, people can like, share and comment on your problem, but that’s about it, they can’t help you much because they have their own status to update.
I didn’t ask you to like me, I ain’t no Facebook post.
I am positively sure that I am doubtful.
Trust God, but don’t forget to lock your house, your car and your wife.
In case you don’t know me, please chat me so I can block you!
That time when Voldemort’s parents took I got our nose way too seriously.
Watching Game of Thrones at the moment. Spoilers will be beheaded.
That sad reality when you just graduated college and you realize you no longer have summer vacations and allowance.
Not all battles you win. Some you just have to wait until you can win again. #clashofclans
I didn’t know Pokemon Go is actually a fitness app! I haven’t walked this much since, Never!
The scarier the boss, the lower the voice.
The best part in being a kid is not paying anything with your own money.
Some people are lucky to be alive, because apparently, killing is illegal.
The only way for me to know if I’m actually awake and not dreaming is when I open the shower and the cold water wakes the be-jesus out of me.
When I unfollow you, it’s because your existence annoys me but, I can’t unfriend you because I don’t wanna seem rude.
When F*** it is your last words before deciding on anything, you have a higher chance at actually F***ing it.
Going to KFC to eat salad is like going to a candy store to get sugar free breath mints.
Why do people think that when I explain why I think I’m right, I am already arguing?
You are like the I am feeling lucky button of Google, no one know’s what it’s for and no one bothers using it.
